Quadrant Confusion
by HypotheticalEyeball
Summary: A young troll endures the angst and frustration of adolescence and the four quadrants. Rated for language, because of Karkat.
1. Cheater Cheater

I was sitting on an old worn out sack that I considered a couch. My eyes were glued to the screen in front of me as I frantically pressed the buttons on my controller. If I

just got one more point, my team of quirky COM characters would tie with Sollux's. Just as I was about to jump over the gap that would be the difference between losing by

a long shot and winning it all, a familiar face broke my concentration. A million thoughts and emotions ran screaming through my head as he leaned in and pressed his lips

to mine. He didn't know it, but that was my first kiss.

"Sollux!" I groused, desperately blocking out any potentially risky emotions. "What was that for!?"

He just smirked and looked at the screen. My character was tumbling through a black abyss of disappointment, and my computer-controlled teammates stared accusingly.

Their sad puppy-dog eyes seemed to burn through the screen into reality.

"Another point for Captor." Sollux grinned.

"You dirty cheater! I almost had it!" I complained, although it wasn't losing that had upset me. It was his methods.

"But didn't I give you thomething better?" he teased.

I glared at him, hoping he would chalk up the colour in my cheeks to frustration. I couldn't let him know that I was flushed for him, so I forced myself to think about

something else.

"What? Meow-beast got your tongue?"

"More like I'm gonna rip out yours!" I snapped.

"Like you would."

"Well, I guess you would be less fun mute." you said coolly, not letting him savor the satisfaction of being right.

Just then, Sollux's computer pinged.

"That mutht be Feferi."

"See you later, then." I muttered, excusing myself to me jumbled emotions.

I walked down the street, my thoughts heading south. I probably should have done something differently. I could have kissed him back, but he most likely wasn't flushed for

me. Maybe if Feferi hadn't messaged him I could fix things, or maybe she had saved me from the awkwardness caused by the frustrating indecision I was feeling.

Sollux and I hung out all of the time, and I had been surprised and a little but insulted when he became moirails with Feferi out of the blue, and so soon after her break-up

with Eridan. When Feferi stopped being moirails with Eridan, he had gone even further off the deep end, and I was pretty sure she had done it because she wanted to get into

a red relationship with Sollux. He didn't dump me the way she dumped Eridan because we weren't moirails, but he and Feferi hadn't even been anywhere near as close as we

were, and then, to add to the confusion, he went and kissed me like that! He took my first kiss away from you just to win a stupid video game! I noticed Nepeta's cave in the

distance. What would Nepeta think? That naïve little role-player obviously had no idea how hard it was actually being anywhere near a quadrant. She and Feferi were both

just happy-go-lucky girls who abused their great luck. Imagine what will happen when it runs out one day... They were playing right into Sollux's plans. That manipulative

jerk! I tripped over a hole, probably from Aradia's digging. Aradia was probably better off all irritatingly high and mighty and emotionless. She didn't have to deal with this

crap! It was at times like this when all of the things I let pile up came crashing down. I stomped along the path, deciding to ask a favor of Equius and try a new strategy

for letting out your anger. We hardly spoke, but at least that meant he hadn't had the chance to develop much of an opinion on me yet.


	2. Mutually Crabby

"Hey! Are you just going to fucking leave me standing here?!" a voice that most definitely belonged to Karkat

shouted. I had almost calmed down when he had arrived. Pulling the door open, I glared at the grouchy troll,

wondering if he was starting to rub off on me.

"What do you want?" I demanded. Because I totally wanted to see another troll that I was kind of attracted to at that moment in time.

"What the fuck is up with you?" he asked. I wasn't usually an emotional mess in front of my friends, so he

was obviously surprised.

"None of your beeswax!" I yelled back.

He rolled his eyes and let himself into my hive. "I'm your fucking friend of course it's my fucking business!"

"Then _'_fucking' let me be!" I spat, mocking him.

"You're just going to go and stew into even more of a fucked-up mess."

"So what if I'm not being peppy and optimistic? It's not like there isn't anything wrong with the world!

Sollux is a jerk, Feferi is a naïve fish-bitch, Nepeta's just naïve in general, Aradia is practically a robot,

Tavros can't freaking stand up for himself, Vriska doesn't know when to stop, and, and aaaaaaaargh!" I

vented, spewing things that I would probably end up wanting to take back. I picked up another trail of

thought, "You! You just waltz in here, thinking it'll magically make everything better, well, magic is what

ruined-

"Whoa! You're blowing everything up way past fucking sanity!"

"How is that supposed to give me anymore confidence in the world?" I scoffed, "Sometimes I feel like I'm

the only one who's sane, and I'm going to be dragged off of the cliff any time now!"

Karkat opened his mouth again, but I cut him off. "And you! You just-grrrrrrr!"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

My ranting lost its momentum, and I stopped, startled. I almost let slip how jumbled my insides got around my crushes. I almost let slip that I had a crush on him! Had I said

too much? No, but stopping might have. Karkat stared at my sudden silence in confusion, and quickly tried to use it to his advantage, "Why don't we sit down and watch a

rom-com so you'll see how fucked-up our lives aren't?"

I just nodded and walked towards the couch; too many thoughts had jumbled around in my head for me to think straight. Not that I ever did. My trails of thought always took

winding routes anyways, so having too many at once created a confusing tangle which would take a while to figure out. I just kind of tried to make up for it by being

frustrated with the world. Frustrated with everyone, everything, and my inability to sort out what the real frustration was. I was even frustrated by the tears I had just

noticed wouldn't stop running down my face. Absentmindedly tucking my hair behind my ear, I plopped down onto the couch as Karkat got the movie ready. At first I just sat

and stared at troll-shaped blurs bumbling around, but as the movie went on, tears ceased to obscure my vision, and I found my attention captured by the complex

predicament the trolls had gotten themselves into. Possible solutions swirled through my thinkpan as I analyzed the best course of action for each troll's best interests. My

tears dried stickily on my cheeks, and I pretended not to notice Karkat moving closer to me. He stretched his arms up above his head, casually wrapping one around me. I

felt myself smile at his sweet gesture. There may not have been any hope left for the characters in the rom-com, but there was still hope left in my life.

I heard Karkat whisper my name.

I turned to face him. "Yeah?"

Karkat's face showed a brief moment of indecision and uncertainty, and then his lips were on mine in what was officially my second kiss ever. It was sweeter than my first by

a long shot. I wrapped my arms around Karkat and snuggled into him, falling into a peaceful sleep.


	3. Plum-Coloured Comfort

When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was that I was on my couch. The second was the punching bag I'd borrowed from Equius hanging in the corner. Yawning, I stood and walked towards my Respite block and my computer. I wanted to clear up a couple of things from the day before. I tried to be relatively friendly, and though I may have thought or felt otherwise, always tried to act as if I liked and respected the other trolls.

I stopped when I heard someone in my respite block sigh. I peeked cautiously around the door and almost blew my cover when I saw what was going on. Karkat was locked in a passionate embrace with Terezi, his shirt off, and their hands roaming freely. Terezi sucked at a spot on Karkat's neck, trailing hickeys across his naked torso. My emotions began to come boiling back to the surface, and I silently fled my hive before I erupted all over again. Did it really matter whether what I saw was red or black? I should have known not to try to get involved in the mess that was Karkat's quadrants.

I made it to the beach before I started crying. Huge angry sobs of frustration shook my body as sat on a bench with my knees hugged to my chest. Bright tears trickled down my jeans as I gave in to pessimism.

"W-what are you doin' on my beach, land dw-weller?" a voice called from the water.

"Something that I can't even do in my own hive." I responded sulkily.

"Aren't you usually the happy one?"

"Just because I'm nice to everybody doesn't mean that I'm happy, or that I like them, Eridan."

Eridan walked up the bench and sat next to me, concerned. I was one of the few trolls that listened to hi emotional ramblings.

"W-what happened?"

"Karkat decided to let Terezi into my hive to make out with her." I manage. "In my respiteblock."

"Oh."

"And right after he was so nice to me when Sollux, Sollux..."

Eridan growled. "You're w-way better than those other land dw-wellers." he soothed, "Any troll as composed as you should be allow-wed to get upset once in a w-while."

"I'm composed?" I sniffed.

"W-well, you look v-very composed next to me."

I managed a small smile before the tears continued to fall. What I needed was a hug. Eridan started when I threw my arms around him, before returning the gesture.

"...fish...motherfucking miracle..." I heard Gamzee muttering, and briefly wondered how long he had been by the beach. He had obviously just eaten a sopor pie, and as a result was less aware than usual.

"Gamzee," I sniffled, "Group hug."

Surprisingly, he heard me, and seemingly unaware of Eridan, stumbled over to wrap his arms around us. I felt Eridan tense, but was too emotionally muddles to care. Although the two trolls were cold, I could feel a warmth emanating from them, different from the heat of anger. The three of us stayed like that, as the waves crashed soothingly. I had calmed down and fallen into a condented daze when Gamzee said, "Nepeta sure would be excited seeing us all up and hugging like motherfucking best bros."

That startled Eridan out of the silence, and he leapt away from Gamzee as if he was on fire. I smiled at the high-blooded trolls.

"Thanks guys, I needed that." I said before walking off in the direction of my hive with a cheery wave in the direction of two very confused male trolls.

When I arrived at my hive I found Karkat and Terezi exactly where I'd left them...just wearing a lot less clothing. I pushed open the door, wincing at the loud creak. Even so, the two trolls did not notice until I spoke up.

"Do you think you guys could do that somewhere else?" I asked.

There was a moment of stunned silence, followed by a mess of frantically flailing limbs attempting to cover themselves with some form of clothing. Karkat was blushing a bright red that ruined all of his efforts to hide his blood colour. He began stuttering something unintelligible, but Terezi cut him off.

"We'll just be going now." she stated, dragging Karkat towards the exit.

He tried to say something to me, but all I heard was a dying octopus trying to play the bagpipes.

"I'm not really interesting in getting into a quadrant with you." I said, pokerfaced, "I'm interested in getting to my computer."


End file.
